When you think things cannot get any better, life surprises you.

I’ve been teaching for nine years, but six months after joining this school, I told my department: “This is already my best experience ever.” It’s because of the amazing team I work with every day and the leadership we have, they inspire me and give me the space and support to truly impact students’ lives. My goal was to bring parents into the “game” and make sure they are involved in the learning experience of our Grade 9 students.

But I have to be honest: after missing my first conference for family reasons, I was a bit nervous about this one. This was my first time interacting with parents in this new environment, with a totally different setup than I was used to.

I didn’t eat anything all morning. Every minute was precious to have everything organized. My colleague Nisha had spent hours organizing students’ evidence of their work, but even then, I had to check it all again in the morning. I had asked my colleagues, Coach Stolley and Dayna, how they started their conferences. They shared two different styles, and that motivated me to just be me, to bring in the key “Learning Habits” we use here: Reflective, Resourceful, Resilience, and Collaboration.

Ready for the Show

I had my plan in my mind and was ready to start the show. You know what increased my confidence? Having all my colleagues there in the gym, with the Principals and counsellors around, ready to support when needed. Right before I received my first student, I heard a voice saying, “Elves, all the best.” And I had all the best. It’s better to continue reading, because you will be amazed with what comes next.

Here is how I run my meetings: I greet the parents and the students and really connect with them. “How are you? Are you enjoying the music?” (By the way, great music was playing in the gym for transitions, so you didn’t need to be rude or make other parents wait. When the music stopped, everyone knew it was time to move on or give last considerations.)

After connecting, I’d share the plan for those 8–10 minutes: “The student will share the amazing work they’ve been doing, then I’ll talk about their performance in class, and at the end, you can ask specific questions. Is that okay?” They would say, “Yes, let’s go.”

I had papers prepared in order, what a great work by Nisha, showing the learning habits and evidence of how students used them. I would ask the student: “Of these four learning habits, which one did you use the most in this unit and in your life lately?” Most went for Collaboration. Then the follow-up: “Tell us why.” They’d give examples from Physical Education, other subjects, and life in general. Then we’d talk about strengths and strategies for the next unit so the student can grow.

The Moment That Changed Everything

After a few great interactions, came a parent who made sure, before I even started talking, to give me her feedback. That made my day.

She said: “I’m sorry, but I have to tell you this first. You changed my perspective on Physical Education. This is not what I am used to for this subject. I don’t know what you put into it, but now I respect this subject and everything that comes with it. You showed us it’s not just about running or playing.” Then she added something I’ll never forget: “I don’t know how you would take this, but I would usually focus more on Math than Physical Education. But you changed that. Your subject has a special place now. You are doing an incredible work. It’s not only about running; it’s about empathy and working together. We noticed the difference compared to our previous school, where my kid was last to be selected when they played games. But here, PE is more than that.”

I told her how much I appreciated that. I value concepts students will use for their lives. In our unit, you don’t score high just by being the fastest; you score high by solving complex problems through collaboration and other concepts. That is our Level 7 description for our latest unit: Consistently lead with a positive attitude. You solve complex problems through collaboration and empower others to succeed.

Bringing the “Authentic Audience” to the Gym

Then, another parent shared something that made me so happy. They said: “Mr. Elves, thank you for inviting us to come and play the games the students created. The parents who came shared a lot of good things about what they witnessed, students working together, helping each other, and taking the lead on their games.”

We always work to bring the parents in to witness the amazing work students are producing. We still have a long way to go because my Grade 9s are afraid to have their parents in, but we believe in our next unit we will have even more. This move, from just using a “product” for a grade to creating an impact on a real audience, is inspired by Catlin Tucker (2022), who stated:

“After witnessing the impact of an authentic audience on both student motivation and the quality of their work, I believe the products our students create must be seen, not just by us, their teachers, but by a real audience.”

Real-Life Resilience

Another parent was worried about how his kid only put effort into things he enjoyed. Since the student had chosen Resilience as his best habit that day, I used that to help him understand. I said, “Hey, real resilience is shown when we succeed at the things we don’t enjoy. Some of the things we don’t enjoy tend to stress us out and impact the things we do love.” I gave him a real example, and the parent said he has been trying to teach that same lesson, but the way I put it made it so clear and easy to understand.

The 1%

One thing is hearing your principal say that 99% of the PTCs here go really well, but another thing is to feel it and enjoy it. And guess what? If that 1% of difficult interactions comes in the future, I know I have a team around me ready to help me handle it.

This was the best parent-teacher conference I ever had, and this is my 9th year of teaching.

I would love to hear your way of running your parent-teacher conferences. If you are a teacher, drop a comment and let me know your strategies!